My life has been a journey to the heart of God.  I have traveled through valleys and up to mountain tops searching for truth, meaning and purpose.  I have searched for God in many dark, lonely and dangerous places.  I began my search wondering what life is all about and how does one become a better human being.  I wondered about eternity and felt compelled to find answers for the mysteries and wonders of this life.

I grew up in the shadow of the Holocaust.  My parents were survivors of World War II in Poland under the Nazi regime.  Their youth was stolen from them as my father went into concentration camps and my mother went into hiding.  My parents were engaged before the war, but they were separated and unable to marry until the nightmare ended almost nine years later.

My mother, along with her parents and sister, spent over three years in a hideaway shelter in the attic on a farm.  They lived in a space large enough for them to lie flat on their backs and waited day by day for the war to end.  My father lost most of his family to the hands of Hitler, while he struggled to survive the horrors of Plashuv, Scajisco, Buchenwald and Matthausen.

They were miraculously reunited at the end of the war.  After rehabilitation, they were married in Italy, cared for in Austria, where my older sister was born, and sailed to America to start a new life.  This tragedy of war had left its scars on the souls of my parents, but their spirits were full of hope and a strong desire to make a good life for themselves in the United States.

I grew up in a structured, loving and secure home.  My parents spoke broken English and were “old country” in their thinking.  We kept a kosher home and observed the Jewish holidays.  They were orthodox Jews and all of their friends were survivors from Poland.  All of our social interactions were within the Jewish community of Los Angles.  We called it the Borscht Belt.  It was very hard for my parents to come from Eastern Europe and adjust to modern American life in Hollywood.  I grew up in the 1950’s.  By the early 60’s a cultural revolution was beginning.  The Beatles music, drugs, anti Viet Nam sentiment and the “make love, not war” mentality of the subculture had caused a generation to “tune in and drop out.”

With the onset of high school came peer pressure and the influence of Eastern philosophies, religion, alternative life styles and the pop and drug culture.  I began to find hypocrisy in my parents’ values and in Judaism.  After WWII American synagogues were becoming social institutions absorbing the many survivors who had immigrated to escape the atrocities of war and to build a new life.  The holidays were social gatherings rather than spiritual experiences.  The worship of God seemed to be replaced by the tradition of man.  The adherence to rabbinical laws seemed far removed from God’s instructions.  I was disenchanted with my experience in temple.  I was looking for a powerful encounter with the God of the universe.  I was attracted to things from the East as I rejected American mainstream spirituality.

I was idealistic and optimistic.  I lacked discernment and godly wisdom.  I was naïve and open to spiritual alternatives.  I dabbled in the occult in areas of great danger and darkness.  At first I studied transcendental meditation and yoga.  I was also interested in astrology, palm reading, reincarnation and various forms of eastern religion.  My world view was changing as I allowed myself to experience altered states of consciousness.  I was becoming a pantheist and feeling “one with nature.”  I was confused and impressionable.

At the young age of seventeen I met and fell in “love at first sight” with Hylan Norman Slobodkin.  He was twenty, very handsome and idealistic as well.  We were both smitten with love and affection for each other, wanting to be together all the time and forever.  My parents were not impressed with Hylan, his long hair, unemployment and his representation of the hippie lifestyle.  They did not know what to do about our intense passion for one another.  After counseling with the family rabbi, he said, “They are young and in love.  Let them get married.”  On August 25, 1968 we were married.

Hylan and I had strong desire to find truth.  In fact, we told our friends that we wanted to find Universal Truth, whatever it took.  We were searching for meaning and significance.  Together we embarked on a journey to find God, truth and the meaning of life.  We packed up our possessions and said “Good-bye” to our friends and family.  In August 1970 we bought one-way tickets to London heading east to India, not knowing if we were ever going to return.  We wanted to find truth at any price.  In our hearts was an excitement about the adventure that lie ahead.

It was sad leaving home, but we were driven with a purpose in mind.  The first stop was London, where we met a monk at an ashram.  He warned us about the seriousness of practicing Kundalini yoga.  He told us that westerners were using eastern philosophies as an escape from the corruption of western society.

The next stop was the Isle of Wight, where we attended a concert with 600,000 young people in an outside arena similar to Woodstock.  At this event I came to the realization that the “love generation” was dead.  Instead of a joyful celebration of music, I discovered an atmosphere of hopelessness and darkness.  At this concert some people invited us to go to Switzerland to meet a man named Dr. Schaeffer, “the guru of the western world.”

Dr. Francis Schaeffer was an author, philosopher and theologian.  He wrote a book called The God Who Is There, which a stranger had given to us in London.  The book talked about a personal God who loves us, and a God who has a plan for each of our lives.  At the end of the book was an invitation to visit his home in the Swiss Alps, called L’Abri, “the shelter” in French.

After two months of traveling through Europe with doubts in my heart about the reality of reincarnation, we arrived at L’Abri willing to take the time to study the Bible.  We were welcomed with open hearts and warm hospitality by a loving community of Christians.  Even though we were merely strangers, they opened up their homes and accepted us in as if we were family.  L’Abri attracted students from around the world in search of truth.  This was a time of deep discussions and soul searching.

We were challenged by the community of believers at L’Abri.  We learned about prophecies in the Old Testament regarding the Messiah and discovered how Yeshua fulfilled them in His life and ministry.  The truth of the Bible touched me deeply, and the concept of eternity with God changed my life.  I began to believe that Yeshua was the Lamb of God who died for my sins and cleanses me of unrighteousness.  After much discussion, debate, study and prayer, I prayed and accepted Yeshua as my Messiah on Thanksgiving 1970.  Hylan was going through a similar experience.  We were flooded with God’s love at the same time.  The Bible finally became alive.

We were changed forever!  “The person who comes to Messiah is a new creature.  The old things have passed away.  Behold new things have come.”  (II Corinthians 5:17)   We thought we were the only Jewish people to accept their Messiah. We would soon find out otherwise, as God began to bring Messianic Jews into our lives. We weren't alone. Little did we know that a modern day revival had begun in Israel in 1967 and was spreading throughout the earth. Today there continues to be a growing number of Jews who believe Yeshua is the Messiah, as evidenced by almost 100 messianic congregations in Israel, and over 500 congregations worldwide. Today Hylan and I enjoy leading Beit Tikvah Messianic Congregation in Newcastle, WA.

See also Hylan's Testimony.